"I have something to ask you," an American acquaintance of mine said to me the other day.

"I'm listening," said I.

"Do you have any titles in Greece?"

"Of course we have," said I, pretending not to get the point. "If you look over our newspapers and periodicals, for example, you will see The Midnight Zephyr and this note: 'The Soundest Paper in News and Editorials'. In others you will find The Morning Star, and farther down, 'The Greatest Greek Newspaper in the World'."

"No, no! I do not mean that. What I mean is whether you have marquises, dukes, barons, etc."

"No, we have not those, but we have legates, metropolitans, bishops, ambassadors, and quite a crop of princes every year. All these, however, bear no titles. They are rather degrees of rank."

"Tell me the truth," said he, impatiently, "I am somehow confused about it."

"My friend," said I, "I am telling you the naked truth. What is the matter with you?"

2

He stood there for a moment, very thoughtful.

"Here is what is the matter," he said. "I have a bad habit of asking all aliens about their origin. Among them there are many Greek, not that there are so many of you here, but you are found in all parts of the country. Well, seldom have I talked with a Greek who did not tell me that he belonged to a noble family and bore some sort of noble title. Here, just the other day, a bootblack as he finished shining my shoes, and I was ready to leave, gave a sigh that seemed to come from the very bottom of his heart. I surmised that he was sighing for a tip, and so I hastened to offer him something, but it had no effect.

"'You must be working hard nowadays,' I said to him.

"'He shook his head despairingly. "'If you only knew what I was in Greece.'

"'A nobleman, I guess.'

"'Something more.'

"'What?'

"'A baron's son!'

"'But then why did you come to America?'

"'It was because my father was pro-Venizaliat, and we were persecuted by the Royalists!'

3

"I expressed my sympathy for him and left.

"From there I went to a restaurant--Greeks again. The waiter brought me soup. Noticing that his apron was dirty, I asked,

"'W hy don't you ask your boss for a clean apron?'

"'Whom,' said he, 'that fellow with the big moustache? That dumbbell!'

"'Yes,' said I, 'I suppose he is your boss.'

"'What can you tell him about cleanliness? He was a shepherd in Greece?'

"'What was your occupation in Greece?' I asked.

"'I was a marquis' son,' he replied.

"I made a gesture of astonishment that almost gave me a soup bath.

"'You, a marquis' son?' I blurted.

"'Yes, sir, a marquis' son, and the only child in the family besides.'

"'And to what do we owe your visit to America then?'

"'Our great family, being Royalists, was persecuted by the Venizelists. Now, however, I have received a letter from King Constantine himself, and I shall hasten back to secure some position.'

"I finished my lunch and left, but for my appetite's sake I stopped to get some 4peanuts from a vendor with a push-cart, and I asked him for fun:

"'You are a Greek, no doubt?'

"'Yes,' said he.

"'You have noble features,' said I. 'You must come of a noble family.'

"'You mean me, sir? How can I tell you! My great-grandfather was a general. All Turkey trembled in its boots before him. If he were alive today, with ten brave men he would have routed ten Kemal Pashas to God knows where. Do you see how this popcorn drops from the machine? That's how Turks' heads used to fall under his saber.'

"And so I have come to believe that you Greeks are a race of self-conceited individuals."

"'We must have our reasons for being so,' said I to the American, who laughed and went on.

"'I shall never forget one of your fellow-countrymen who told me that a great-grandfather of his had been a Patriarch, and when he realized that he had gone too far, he hastened to add that patriarchs used to get married in those days. And so the majority of the Greeks whom I interrogated plied me with falsehoods. They told me that they were sons of mayors, ministers, or dukes, or that they were heirs to vineyards or olive groves. They even drew on their imagination to describe the dimensions 5of plantations of various kinds to which they were heirs."

"And you believed all that, at least at first."

"Almost everything at first, but there is a limit to my credulity."

"Galia (gullible)!"

"What does that mean?"

"Make a note of it and ask the first baron you meet!"

P. A. Hronopoulos.