We often wonder if the young girls of Hellenic descent realize how much better off they are than the girls of other nationalities. Do they understand and appreciate their increased opportunities for a fine marriage? A girl can become a "Mrs." through an "arranged" marriage or through marriage with the man of her own choice. Few American girls have such an alternative. it is also generally known that for this reason it is a rare thing to meet a Greek "old maid". Only about one Greek girl out of a thousand is forced to remain unwed.

Although the arranged match is considered a barbarous and uncivilized custom by some other peoples, they cannot, however, belittle the advantages it offers certain types of shy or unattractive girls. At times, it is even necessary to go in a direction which seems to be backward in order to attain a certain goal. Then we quote a proverb, and say, "The end justifies the means". So, 2although the arranged match may be an evil, at times it is a necessary one.

In many cosmopolitan countries, as in England, for instance, there is always a large number of girls who never acquire husbands. In most cases, this is due to the fact that they have to do their seeking unaided, and cannot find anyone available in their more or less limited circle of acquaintances. As soon as their youth is gone these heart-broken, lonely women enter upon careers, which are very poor substitutes for homes, husbands, and children. Perhaps these women are happy in the beginning but their happiness is short lived, for as they grow older they find themselves alone and unloved.

It is odd that only among our people can one find sympathetic relatives and friends who take an active interest in the happiness of all the girls in their circle. If it is seen that due to defect or handicap it is impossible to get a husband for a girl by mere match-making, these kind friends and relatives even resort to providing a dowry. All this is done so that the girl may not miss the life for which she, as a woman, was destined. For, after all, 3happiness is not only for the beautiful, the wealthy, or the very young. Every girl on earth has a right to have her dreams of marriage come true.

Once, in a discussion of our marriage customs, a well-educated American woman criticized them as uncivilized and barbarous. She said we had no right to call ourselves a civilized people or to live in a land such as America. She further said we were even lower than the beasts, for they at least choose their own mates. At the conclusion of her appalling denunciations, it was necessary to make some sort of reply--which was done.

It is true that the arranged marriage is a more or less backward, cruel, and brutal custom. From one point of view it is actually a degrading influence. This bartering for a young girl has abhorrent aspects: it lowers the dignity of the girl and her family, especially if the final answer is a refusal. But is it not better to sacrifice dignity and confidence in such a case--to suffer a little while--than to remain lonely and unhappy a whole lifetime? Of course, marriage is not a preventive of sorrow; for sorrow is 4inevitable. But convention and society expect us to follow a certain accepted path; and unless we do so, unhappiness is bound to follow, because the community will make our lives unpleasant and sad. No girl really likes being an old maid among her married friends. My friend agreed, and said she herself would not be happy if marriage were not possible for her.

As a result, she further agreed that, although our marriage customs do seem a little barbarous, they accomplish a great deal of social benefit. Therefore, this double opportunity possessed by the Greek-American girls is a great source of relief to the Hellenism of America. Imagine a rich Greek girl from a good family who is avoided by all the men because of her ugliness. She would never find a husband if she did not have a dowry for a bait. Not that all men seek a dowry--some, in fact, refuse a girl who has one. It is only because a man who marries an ugly or dumb girl usually feels he needs compensation for his tolerance.

Believe it or not, the commonest method of marriage today--and the best--is 5the "arranged" marriage. It was frowned upon and forbidden a few years ago by Greek parents. They then preferred that the two young people involved should fall in love with each other and then ask the consent of their parents to marry. Such a method is a great relief to parents and friends because it takes a difficult and responsible task from their shoulders. Their approval of this method has grown out of the awareness of a new social problem confronting Greek parents. This is the ever-increasing proportion of women, which makes it so hard for parents to find eligible young men as prospective husbands for their daughters. So, again, we say that our girls are fortunate in being free to marry either the man of their choice, or, as an alternative, their parent's choice.